Once I went to drink coffee in West Lake, I heard a conversation of a group of young people sitting next to my desk. You are talking about “third” people who are not present at the talk that day. Among the names not present, I was most impressed with A and B (I would like to name you two instead of your real name). “A A used to go to school normally but now she can apply for a scholarship to go everywhere, B is good at school the previous day and now is nothing special.” Those are your team’s comments for A and B. The surprise always comes to me whenever I hear such words. I wonder what is “normal”, what is “good”? And more importantly based on which criteria we can judge a person as “normal”, and another person is “good”? Why is it that when a “normal” person goes far away, am I surprised? I suddenly realized that the years of sitting in school chairs framed us in the concept of “normal”, and “good”. From level one to high school, we always cherish and favor good students in core subjects. (To be honest, I still do not understand why we are divided into “main subject” and “minor”, why physical education is not as important as math study? Why is math so good to be considered intelligent? good geography is “normal”?) Students who do not meet this standard are “normal” people. In other words, we evaluate students’ “good” based on IQ (which is even limited to major subjects). And no matter how much later we grow up, we unconsciously use this standard as a basis to assess their success in the future. Therefore, we have new comments like “it used to be normal but now it can do such things”.
However, sometimes “normal” people possess many factors that people who are “good” do not have. Many studies have shown that emotional intelligence, ability to communicate, interact with people around, diligence, persistence, patience are important qualities that determine an individual can advance far away in life or not. (Of course, if a person has a high IQ, and has the characteristics of a successful “normal” person, he or she will go very far, and I will not discuss it in this article). These properties of “ordinary people succeed” are difficult to measure and “quantify”. Is there any school report that points to diligence, or persistence?
I learned this from my experience as an assistant in the first year of a graduate student in the United States. Sometimes I was amazed by the sharp essay of the students that I initially thought were “normal”. They do not often speak in class, and looking through is not so smart. But I gradually realized that they have some things in common, that is responsibility, progressive spirit, hard work, always listening to other people’s suggestions. I am also impressed by their polite and skillful communication (the most memorable experience of a tutor is to talk to my students). Meggie and Mary, two close friends of the “Introduction to Comparative Politics” class, are two of the most impressive students left in me. The two of them didn’t seem to stand out too much in class, their first draft essay was not so outstanding. (As required by the course, students are encouraged to submit a draft for us to submit comments before submitting the completed paper). But I see in the two children the spirit of learning, effort and determination. Based on my suggestion, the students correct the article very carefully. Each new draft is a huge step forward from the old version. And Maggie and Mary’s final essay is truly outstanding. Professor and I all said that, with this personality, the two of you will go very far in life.
I realized that it would be wrong to evaluate students’ “goodness” based on their ability to learn certain subjects. This evaluation makes them considered “good” not paying attention, or even disregarding the characteristics of those who are considered “normal”. For example, I always open my eyes in awe at comments like this from the students and even the parents: “My daughter passed the university entrance exam very well, but she was… very lazy, yes Where are you studying? ”,“ I’m so lazy, I never study but I don’t know where to study, “I prepared a scholarship file for a few days, but luckily passed” or “he only got hard work “. I once read an interview with an American student online. I told, before the exam the classmates of the night school day, I did not study much but still got the highest score in the class. I am “horrified” when reading your comments for me “too good, excellent”, “Vietnamese people are smart”. I wonder what kind of compliments like that are for? It is known that society still has a deviant view of goodness and has not properly evaluated the qualities of a “normal successful” person. I cannot call it success yet, and I am still working hard to collect more life experiences for myself, but I can confidently say: No achievement comes from just “good”, every step Short-term progress also requires effort, persistence and many other factors. Many people say that PhD students are all very high IQs, but the truth is not so. Of course you also need to be a bit smart but the factor to make PhD successful is persistence, effort, and ability to work independently. If parents are still proud of being “good” but lazy, they will definitely harm them. It will be too confident in its capabilities, and will easily be discouraged and give up when it comes to doing things that need a lot of “normal success”.
Because I like to share my study abroad experience on the blog site, many of you mistakenly think I’m a very … good person. Honestly, I’m a very ordinary person. I have never been the best in any situation. And believe me, you don’t need to be the best person to get a scholarship or any success. But surely you have to be the one who tries, works hard, and is the most eager to learn!
So if you are a young person, a “normal” person from small to big, and are confused whether you can go far in the future, try to promote the qualities of a “normal” person. success. I believe you can do it!
Thank you for reading my confidences to these final lines. Wish you a great day!